27th
Deprivation: Day Four
Today, deprivation took an ugly turn toward desperation.
It all started innocently enough. A completely normal trip to the Giant Toy Store for diapers. Before leaving the house: “Any last requests? Remember, I don’t have a phone…”
I arrive at the Giant Toy Store. Oh great, a price cut on the diaper mega box! But wait, here’s an extra special, limited-time only rotundo pack with freebie storage bin. Let’s see… the unit price on the rotundo pack is slightly worse, but you do get that nifty storage bin. But do I need one of those?
On the other hand, a $10 gift card is mine for buying the mega box, which makes the unit cost per diaper a little cheaper… but by how much exactly—oh how I wish I had a calculator…. but drat, that’s in my nonexistent phone. Would be nice to call home to bounce this rotundo bin idea around, or even a text….
Fast forward to bedtime.
Reading books.
Kids are playing with a very old GSM cellphone that has since become a toy.
Brushing teeth.
Wait a minute! GSM cell phone? Maybe it could take my old iPhone SIM card… I still have that! Maybe, just maybe I could get by for just a few days with this old clunker. Reduce REUSE recycle, right?
Open the back cover. Nice—battery is still there. Glad my kids haven’t lost it. Or eaten it. Whew.
Now where’s that charger?
Oh, the charger. Crap. Pretty sure I tossed it.
Hrmm. Maybe, just maybe, my super-duper-universal-multivoltage charger will work. Uh. No… Looks like Motorola made a special one-off plug for this phone. It’s a different shape than—than, well everything!
This is what’s become of me. So desperate for regaining my digital lifestyle, I’ll slum for a 10-year old, probably dead, very likely malfunctioning phone, just to get my fix. What would people think if I use this monster in public? It’s practically a museum piece. Worse, it isn’t a museum piece—if it was a brick phone at least I’d get some attention. Of course, the analog network is gone now so I can watch nonexistent local digital TV channels… and that old Motorola brick is best used as a brick. Literally.
Oh the humanity!
Calgon take me away!
I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Johnny Five needs input!
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue…. (with thanks to Lloyd Bridges).
